When is Enough Enough?

I am quite the happy camper right now as I do not have work tomorrow! I took a personal day in order to attend to some things that I need to get done πŸ™‚ including doing my cousins prom makeup! That is the most important of them all πŸ™‚
I don’t really have much to tell you, food-wise, aside from the fact that I have been snacking on a ton of this lately:

Almonds 'n Raisins

This combo is pretty yummy and filling! I also love pecans, walnuts, and cashews… oh, cashews, how I can eat the whole entire bag of you.

Okay this post is going to take a little bit of a different turn, but it’s something that I really want to talk about. As most of you know, this past weekend I went to Cape Cod. The night before the trip, a guy from my past, who was never good for me, and who I hadn’t heard from in about a year and a half, called me. We’ll call this person Andrew. Andrew lives on the way to Cape Cod. Funny how things work out.

Anyway, I have been talking to and hearing from and visiting Andrew ever since I met him as a fifteen or sixteen year old girl. Time and time again, Andrew would promise that he would come visit me in New York because I was always the one to go to see him. Each and every time when it would actually come to the time for Andrew to come visit me, he would completely blow me off. No call, no text, nothing. In the beginning, I was devastated. Here was this guy who I really liked, and he couldn’t even give me the decency to just say ‘hey, listen, I can’t come this weekend’, or whatever it was.

This went on and off for years, up until last year. How did I let this guy come in and out of my life so frequently? Or so infrequently? The middle of last year was the last time he came into my life and once again blew me off, and I was convinced that that would be the last time. I never wanted to hear from him again. I deleted his cell phone and any other way I could contact him or that he could contact me. I believde this was the end and that I was better off in every way.

After an unknown number called me for the second time the night before Cape Cod, I finally answered, and to my surprise, Andrew was on the other line. Shocked, I said a few choice words to him, yet, he either didn’t understand or didn’t want to hear what I had to say. He was excited I was coming his way, and wanted to see me. Each day I was in Cape Cod, he would call countless times, text over and over and over, and Facebook me inappropriate things.

Needless to say, I was over this. How could someone who had treated me so poorly multiple times believe that I would be fine with speaking to him again? How could I trust Andrew? I couldn’t. I can’t. Andrew even suggested that my friend and I leave the Cape early in order to come see him. Um.. no? It was in this moment that I knew I needed to get rid of this eight year burden.

I have come full-circle in so many other areas of my life. Food, fitness, work, everything that I love–why would I even think of settling for someone who didn’t cherish my qualities? When is enough enough? When do we actually listen to our own advice? Countless times I have thought to myself, ‘I can do better’, or ‘I deserve better’, and the fact of the matter is that I do. We all do. We all deserve to be with someone who cheers for us, stands by us, and fits into the healthy mix we have created for ourselves. Letting go of the ‘noise’, and my noise was Andrew, frees us to find other things and enjoy better things. This is something we all deserve.

Question of the night: Have you ever had a hard time letting go of someone? Did it take a few days or several years to finally put it to an end?


6 responses to “When is Enough Enough?

  1. I was in a really toxic relationship for over a year that was really hard to “let go of” – mostly because he had made me think that I couldn’t survive without him, it was grossly controlling. Countless attempts to cut the cord and lots of therapy sessions later, I can say that I’m a way better person for coming out the other side of it; you know that point in every portrayal of AA where it’s “Hello, my name is ___ and I’m an ___” – I had to admit to myself that I was better off and that I knew it was so bad for me, and that he was a scumbag before I could let go.

    • It’s really really commendable of you to be able to actually take a step back and say ‘this isn’t for me’, when your heart was so heavily invested in the relationship. You’re better off this way, even though in the beginning it is never, never easy.

  2. Wow. Very touching and very relatable. Way to go stephie!! Should post the new beyonce song while your at it- same concept. : )

  3. Oh steph you go girl! Do what makes you happy and continue living your fabulous life!

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